What Is Mediation?
Mediation is an alternative to litigation which allows you to have creative control over the outcome of your separation and divorce. It is private, less expensive than litigation, and allows for the input of both parties.
Mediation usually involves five people: the spouses, their attorneys, and the mediator. Typically, you and your spouse are in separate rooms, each with your attorney. The mediator goes from room to room, carrying proposals and counterproposals, as you all work toward a final agreement.
Sometimes couples retain a mediator without either of them having an attorney. This choice works well when you can talk with one another, but need the help of a neutral third party. A mediator can guide the flow of the conversation and help refocus you if the conversation goes in unplanned directions.
Is Mediation Right for Us?
Because mediation is still a bit of an exercise in seeing how skillful a negotiator you or your attorney is, it does not have many of the benefits of collaborative law. It is somewhat adversarial: the process can become a struggle to see “How much can I get?” or “What will I have to give up to get what I want?” That is, each of you is still looking out for yourself, rather than trying to see the bigger picture and what is better for everyone.
Separating Together attorneys are not only experienced mediators, but most also teach and serve as coaches for new mediators. We will work with you and your spouse to help you determine if mediation is the right way to create a solution for both of you.